


Oh No Not the Sparkles

by Elanor



Category: War Horse (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 06:46:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elanor/pseuds/Elanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That one set in a unicorn dystopia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh No Not the Sparkles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moosewingz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moosewingz/gifts).



Colin meets Peter again on the battlefields of France.

There are bullets whizzing around them this time, men shouting, dying, gurgling as their blood bubbles up in their mouths.

"Never thought I'd see you again," pants Colin, ducking behind a dilapidated brick wall.

"Me neither," says Peter, collapsing into the muddy ground with a squish.

"Who'd've thought, war again so soon," Colin says. "Especially after the unicorns took over the world--you'd have thought, it'd be nice having unicorns as overlords. They always seemed so nice in the story."

"But no," Peter sighs. "Bloodthirsty virgin hunters, the lot of them."

"At least we still have the bunnies on our side," Colin says soothingly. "Their tails especially are so useful--have you ever seen one at it? They just twitch them about and hop off, and the unicorns are absolutely hypnotised."

"My unit always used butterflies and squirrels," Peter says, bemused. "I didn't know that about bunnies--we did try to use flowers once on the unicorns, which was great until we realised they grow entirely too slowly. And also I'm allergic, they make me sneeze--attracts the unicorns, you know."

"Flower cannons?" Colin suggests. "I've heard someone's invented those, although I haven't seen any yet. Absolute bloodbath, apparently, and it's a complete _pain_ trying to get unicorn blood out of your uniform--all the sparkles, you know."

"Ah, yes," Peter nods sagely. "We captured one the other day--no one ever wanted to clean its stable, unicorn manure is deadly poisonous _and_ you breathe glitter for weeks afterwards."

*

"--wait, I thought the unicorns only liked virgins?" Peter said, pausing to lob a ball of flowers over the wall.

"Yep," groused Colin. "It's why I'm here on the front lines--bait to draw them out."

"...you too?!" Peter says, eyes wide.

"What! You as well?! I didn't know the Germans had the same strat--" Colin's cut off by Peter literally jumping on him and smashing his mouth onto his.

"Ow ow ow!" Colin says when he can get a word out, which is exactly once for the next ten, fifteen minutes. "You bit my lip!"


End file.
